But then I might…

SydNotLookingWatercolourWeb

Another quick insomnia fuelled not-looking-at-page drawing. Can you guess who it is? (  and no, it’s not me, even though we appear to be hair twins. The title is a small clue. As is the fact that his name is in the tags ).

I feel the need to again add the disclaimer that only the initial biro sketch is done without looking at the page. When it comes time to add colour, I’m eyeballing like nobody’s business.

*biro, watercolour pencils, watercolour paper*

Musings of a Serial Dabbler

stuffonhead3dsilRightfacing

mini half-head is tired and full of regret

stuffonhead3dsilHeld

such useful: every home needs a shrunken half-head

If you’re confused as to what you’re looking at, that’s entirely understandable.  Be confused no more as I explain presently:

A few years ago, I thought that I wanted to make lovely, strange, stop-motion animations, using resin and silicone puppets and detailed sets a la Tim Burton. So I began researching how to make silicone molds and casts so that I could begin making my characters and creatures. It got off to a good start; it was challenging but fun, and I had a bazillion plans bouncing around my head like ping pong balls. Alas, the materials were SO expensive, and the “trial and error” thing too weighted on the “error’ side of things for me to be able to afford to keep going without compromising my ability to pay rent and eat. I had to postpone my animator plan…..and unfortunately ( but not surprisingly, considering my history) never went back to it.

The half face that you see above is a silicone cast of a pointless little sculpture I made using modelling clay. It was my first experiment with trying to get some sort of fleshy colour, but I didn’t mix the pigments very well, (as you can see by the little white “scars” he has there) and the mouth colour is very messy. But I wasn’t too displeased with it as a first attempt, and it was a fun learning experience.

So, ok.  But why am I showing you this? Initially, because I noticed this half-faced fella in my craft room the other day ( I could never bring myself to throw him out), and finally got an idea of how to use him in a creative project. I won’t ramble on about said idea. I’ll get to the second reason instead:

I’m a Serial Dabbler. I don’t “specialise” in anything. I’m interested in many things ( too many things, it could be said), and, as a result have dipped my toes into many subjects. This results in a person who can do many things passably, but not one single thing brilliantly. This has been, and at times, still is, a source of extreme frustration to me. I’d LOVE to have a solid direction in life; something to concentrate ALL my creativity and energy into. But realistically, I’m never going to just suddenly stop being fascinated with all the things I’m fascinated with. That’s not gonna happen. Furthermore, if I’m honest, I really have zero desire to limit myself to one mode of self expression. There’s no way that would suffice. But this leaves me in an uncomfortable no-man’s-land, in which I feel as though I’m going nowhere fast.

I’m well aware that I’m not the only one with this dilemma. There are many of us “Serial Dabblers” ( or “Scanners”; “Experimenters”; “People Who Can’t Make Up Their Damn Minds”- whatever you want to call it) out there. We probably all face similar frustrations and confusion. I haven’t found an effective way to deal with this dilemma, so I don’t have any suggestions to offer those who also fall into this Serial Dabbler category. And, whilst what works for one person won’t always work for others, if you’re one of the fortunate people who have figured out a way of managing a herd of crazed interests, please feel free to comment regarding what’s  worked for you. I’m open to handy hints!

In the meantime, I figure all I can do is try to accept that this just happens to be the way my brain operates. And really, is it all bad? It sure makes life interesting. You learn a lot. It expands your mind; gives you an insight into- and an appreciation of-  things that were once a mystery. Sometimes you’ll meet someone in X occupation, and be able to have a great discussion about it with them because you researched that very subject years ago ( just before you realised you needed to research Y, instead ). That’s kinda nice. Or, maybe, while out window shopping, you’ll see a jacket you like but can’t afford, but because you dabbled in fashion design years ago, you’re able to go home and make a similar jacket for yourself, for a quarter of the price. Or just be able to fix something yourself instead of paying someone else to do it. Maybe the insomnia inspired trawlings of “Instructables” or “Make” Magazine will lead to new knowledge regarding a project you were stuck on, ( which you will still not complete, because now you’ve discovered what you really need to do is build a guitar, make some shoes, create a cake that  looks like James Baxter from “Adventure Time”, and learn electronics). Or maybe, instead of finishing your own project, you’ll be able to apply what you’ve learnt along the way to help someone else finish theirs instead. Maybe you’ll end up finishing all your projects….just.. after about 20 years or so.

If there’s something I’ve noticed in life, it’s that some things that make  very little sense at one time, somehow manage to make perfect sense later down the track. Maybe the whole “I can’t pick one thing to focus on” dealy will be one of those things. Or maybe it won’t. I don’t know. Maybe instead of seeing incomplete paths as Dead Ends, I’ll be able to see them as scenic stopovers on my journey to who-knows-where as we hurtle through space in pointless circles on our little Earth ship. And when I zoom out and look at things that way, it probably doesn’t matter as much as I think it does.

T.I.P.P.P. ( Things I Phind Phunny on Phriday) #2

Yay! I’m doing something twice! Surely this counts as me being consistent? Maybe there is hope for me.

I’d like to share two completely unrelated yet equally funny-bone tickling things this evening. The first thing is a hilarious response to the feelgood ( yet kinda overdone)  “most satisfying video” trend. Behold The Most Unsatisfying Video In the World Ever Made:

I watched this with my 9 yr old this evening, and we were both in tears of laughter and frustration.

The second thing is something I’ve posted numerous times over various online incarnations. Because it just never gets old. It is the Guitar Lesson from ‘Snuff Box’. Whilst personally, I’ll always be more of a ‘Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace’ kinda gal, Snuff Box had plenty of golden moments, and this one never fails to crack me up:

 

I can’t get enough of the ridonkulous editing that these guys love to employ as a comedic device ( see Darkplace and ‘AD/BC: A Rock Opera’ 😉 )

Hope you got a giggle!

Much love xx

Insomnia self-portrait with bed hair and falling-off mouth (with bonus demon not worth facing)

notlookingmeagainBedHairMou

*black biro ( not looking) and watercolour pencils ( looking)*

I can’t complain about not sleeping tonight, as I had a great sleep last night. Also had a fantastic dream that as I lay in bed, a garden of sumptuous, jewel coloured satin and velvet flowers began growing upon the ceiling. The flowers looked like butterfly wings under a scanning electron miscroscope, but much bigger, and as I watched, they began growing faster and faster- extending down the walls in glorious stained-glass-vivid vines. It was so beautiful that I felt I must get out of bed and show someone. But then the thought crossed my mind that the flowers- now growing at quite a pace- might grow over the doorway- locking me out if I left….. or, alternatively- if I stayed- trapping me within this  butterflyflower garden all by myself, with nobody to share it with. As I had this thought, some large ants, (which were running for cover from the flowers) trickled down the wall, and to my horror, one jumped into my bed. I woke up brushing invisible ants off me.