• Print out  ( this step can be skipped in favour of not knowing this post exists).
  • Realise that  nobody  would be able to complete this  (if they do, i’ll personally send them an original absurdist novel, handwritten entirely on a block of post-it notes, plus a balloon with a drawing on it of the Mona Lisa eating sushi on the wing of an aeroplane ). Read as a surrealist poem- either in silence, or out loud as ART.
  • Use printout  as interesting giftwrap/ inefficient toilet paper.
  • Pity me.
  • Continue living your life.



1.Monochromatic shitter/ the word

4. Not Irish

8. Chaotic vowel party

9. Mother Aeroplanes teach this skill to their young by throwing them off driveways

10. A snake at rest, in peaceful ________

11. Unlow as a fabric diamond on the wind

12. Nothing like a duck/ rhymes with laces/ more than one one

13. Check out these oysters, they’re a great ______

16. Beebopnbeedoowablahblahndoodatndoodatbahwupmboo

18. Stop signs introduce themselves as such to make spiders/octopus feel more at home

19. The ______ of this puzzle is hella cute

20. Rhymes with brick glue/ a snail plant won’t yield snails  unless you  _____ it

21.  Apparently it’s small

22. Print this out, eat it, and get ____ OR place it on your foot, OR describe what this crossword does, and such.


2. Potato snorting/ mystical pea in love with a flea/ ate my house key

3. The collective term for dresses

4. In god, tomatoes _____

5. Confused/ amused/ bemused/ perploosed/ shamoozed/ _______

6. Not Turkish

7. Gee, why can’t ‘H’ walk in a straight line?

14. Mixed lollies= contradictory sweets= mixed _______

15. The Golden Gate Bridge is a feat of modern _______ engineering

17.  This music is messed up

20.  Something mighty, with staining fuel



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